Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith : The Review : The Blog Post

It starts out kinda good. It's a recreation of the scene from Return of the Jedi, but instead of taking the high road, he scissors off Dracula's head.

Then Anakin and Padme are reunited and their inane conversations can begin. It's as if these two have an invented twin language that they use to talk to each other. Their dialogue is forced, and infantile. Here is an actual snippet.

Anakin: You are so...beautiful.
Padme: It's only because I'm so in love.
Anakin: No. No, it's because I'm so in love with you.
Padme: Then love has blinded you?

I speak English. I even know all those words. But I have NO idea what this means at all. No clue. Not even close.

If you watch very closely you can see almost pinpoint the moment when Samuel Jackson has completely given up in this movie. I don't want to spoil it for you.

Obi-wan rides this animal, it's kind of a reptile thing. It's dumb. It looks dumb, and it sounds dumb. I pity the child who received this toy for a Christmas present.

Then Obi-wan fights grievous. Hey, does anybody still have Darth Maul's number? That guy was a blast to watch, can we get him back? No? Oh fuck it, let's just give a bunch of lightsabres to a six armed robot. At least somebody will have a good Christmas this year.

Then some more stuff happens, but I'm too preoccupied trying to decide if James Franco or Hayden Christensen is a more terrible actor. In the end I have to say Franco, only because I'm not sure if it's Christensen's fault. Garbage in, garbage out. Any movie which can make Ewan McGregor and Natalie Portman sound like hacks shouldn't be used to judge an actor. And I've never gone out of my way to see another Hayden Christensen movie, so Franco it is. Congratulations James Franco.

Obi-wan gets blasted off of his stupid dragon thing into a pool of water. I'm hoping that thing can't swim. And yes, I understand the Jedi were caught off guard, but it's hard to believe that they could punked so hard.

Then Jimmy Smits shows up and says his 3 lines. Good job Jimmy.

The wookiees kind of send off Yoda like he was E.T. that's funny.

Cool, the Rebel Blockde Runner. That might be the coolest thing in this movie. Jimmy Smits has at least 3 more lines in this scene, I've underestimated him it seems. Scratch that, it was two lines.

I think Anakin sums up his role in this trilogy with "From my point of view it's the Jedi who are evil!". I can't believe this is the guy who turned into Darth Vader.

Obi-wan takes care of him. He calls it out like Babe Ruth.

Then they actually put the armor on him, and he has this incredibly pathetic moment where he's yelling about Natalie Portman and looking completely neutered. Thanks for infecting my original trilogy Darth Vader, George Lucas.

I feel dumber for having seen these movies.

Retro Gaming Expo - Video Game Convention - Portland, Oregon

Retro Gaming Expo - Video Game Convention - Portland, Oregon

Jade Empire Available for download to 360 on Monday

I should see if I can find it used first... but I may end up picking this up since I never played it, and loved Kotor.

http://kotaku.com/5026139/jade-empire-is-your-next-xbox-original

Cardboard Spartan

My Dad once gave me the advice, don't dance on film. Dancing doesn't age well. Something about seeing who you once were, believing yourself to be cool is pretty embarassing. Travolta. I'm looking at you.

Which leads us to today's post.

Fartbuttface created a video that I invite all to see. It's creepy. It's awesome. It reminds me of something I would do as a kid, before I discovered girls.

But my dad taught me not to dance on film. Go ahead. Enjoy.

The thing is, after Star Wars Kid and others like him, I think people are slightly more sensitive to the situation. Not everybody as the comments page shows, but some people are even encourging.

It's such a strange world when people are put on display.

Million Dollar Idea #1

Oregon Trail MMORPG.

== $$

Halo Matchmaking Update

A couple of interesting notes from Bungie's weekly update.

Shishka's Matchmaking Update

DLC:

• Heroic Maps skip after veto in both Objective and Slayer.

Ranked:

• Ranked Big Team persists through July. RBTB remains a double EXP hopper. Reduced weighting of Covies map variants. Increased weighting on Heavy CTF.

Social:

• Big Team Social – Covies map variants skip after veto.

Thank God.

NES

My dad just bought me and my brother a Nintendo Entertainment System.

Now to be fair, this is the second one, the first one hit our family room in 1988.

So I've compiled a list of must have Nintendo games for all loyal Nerdalerters to comment on. Those with asterisks next to them indicate that we've already acquired them.

Metroid*
Metal Gear*
RBI Baseball*
Tecmo Super Bowl*
Castlevania 3*
Super Mario 1*
Super Mario 3*

A Boy and His Blob
Baseball Stars
Battletoads
Bionic Commando
Blades of Steel
Blades of Steel
Castlevania 1
Castlevania 2
Contra
Contra 2
Crystalis
Dragon Warrior 1
Dragon Warrior 2
Dragon Warrior 3
Dragon Warrior 4
Double Dribble
Double Dragon
Double Dragon 2
Faxanadu
Final Fantasy
Legend of Zelda
Manic Mansion
Mega Man 1
Mega Man 2
Mega Man 3
Mega Man 4
Mike Tyson's Punch Out
Ninja Gaiden 1
Ninja Gaiden 2
Ninja Gaiden 3Zelda 2
Pro Wrestling
River City Ransom
Super Mario Brothers 2
StarTropics
Tetris