Watchmen. Oh, Watchmen

Well, I finally saw Watchmen a couple days ago.

It was very entertaining. Fun to watch. But... I didn't feel anything. The thing that, for me, made the book so great was the realism of the characters. The emotion of it. But what Zach Snyder has done is to repeatedly neglect drama in favor of spectacle.

A few of examples...

The prision riot scene. Rorschache in the cell, Big Figure and his goons trying to get him out. Rorchache ties one of the goons to the bars, and the other goon has to kill him so they can get into the cell. In both the book and the movie, this scene is very bloody. In the book they slit the goons throat. You can see the fear in his face as his friend reluctantly comes at him with a box cutter. It's a short moment, but a dramatic one. In the movie they cut his arms off. Close up of blood splattering against the wall. The goon screams as we look at the bones sticking out of his stump. This is not dramatic. It's a cheap shock. And it would have taken the same ammount of time to do it the dramatic way. Our loss.

The sky fuck scene. Dan and Laurie do it in Archie. In the book this scene represents the moment when the characters finally feel like themselves. After years of living impotent lives they finally feel vital again. There is nothing wrong with the movie version of this scene, but rather it is the set up that falls short, making the scene gratuitus. The scene where Dan can't get it up is in there, but it doesn't connect. It's far too brief. It felt like a light moment. A little joke. Because of that scene's inabilaty to perform, we wind up with a scene that serves no other purpose other than showing off whatsherface's tits. Tits that, in the book, were hidden in shadow because they weren't the fucking point of the scene!

And then there were several scenes that added carnage, seemingly for no other purpose than to add carnage. In the book, when Dan and Laurie get cornered by the gang in the alley way and fight their way out, it is really just punching at kicking. For some reason the movie decides to add bullet wounds and compound fractures. Not really sure why. Same goes for the scene where Adrian fights off the assassin in his building. I don't recall the assassin opening fire into a crowd a splattering brains everywhere in the book. I don't see how that helps the movie's narrative.

And I know that Dr. M blows people up in the book, but here we get blood and guts flying everywhere. Cut to a woman covered in it, looking stunned. Everyone laughs.

I am not saying that Watchmen is a bad movie, but it's not a great one. Hell, I know I'll see it again when they come out with the longer DVD. But my point is that Zach Snyder has a ten year old kid in him that loves to see blood and guts. In his other movies it worked to listen to this kid, but for Watchmen it is in bad taste.

Nerd Alert Episode 5: The Parasaurolophus

In this Episode of Nerd Alert...
We're back after an 11 month absence! Mark doesn't know what Twitter is and we try to explain it. We talk about old Star Wars Video Games. Jonpaul gives his spoiler-free Watchmen movie review. Mark gives his take on the new Star Trek Trailer. We gush about Walking Dead and Invincible. Mark submits his idea for a Reno-911-pedia. Jonpaul wants more Backwards Compatibility. We're trying out a new format this episode, with the music underneath the conversation, I'm sure it will evolve. Please leave your comments below, and let us know what you think.




Mp3- Nerd Alert Episode 5

Subscribe to the NerdAlert podcast in iTunes!


Interweb-links.

Visit the Nerd Alert Blog at
NerdAlertNerdAlert.com

Mercury Blogtown
http://blogtown.portlandmercury.com/blogs/BlogtownPDX/

Obi-wan is the Villian Guy - Link Forthcoming

Wiimote Head Tracking - 3d
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jd3-eiid-Uw

Star Trek Trailer
http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/startrek/

Green Goblin's last Stand Part 1
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1677661214102744051&hl=en

Green Goblin's last Stand Part 2
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1868813073984637340&hl=en


Playlist-
John Williams - Superman Theme
The Cardigans - Iron Man
Thelonious Monk - Bemsha Swing
The Who - Wont get fooled again
RJD2 - Two more Dead
MF Doom + Talib Kweli - Old School
Dressy Bessy - Girl you Shout
Ratatat - Tropicana
Zelda Theme - Koji Kondo original
Le Tigre - The Empty (BBC live version)
Leaning Towers - Aaron's Birthday
Matson Jones - Good Advice
Pixies - Alec Eifel
Apples in Stereo - Baroque

New Wiki

Hey, are you a fan of Reno 911? Me too! Thats why I started a new Wiki for it. Reno 911pedia!

Reno911.Wikia.com

Come check it out!

Nerd Alert Episode 4 (repost)

We are mostly back, though we need to do some housekeeping before getting back to full speed. So here is a repost of Episode 4, recorded last year. We have just finished recording Episode 5, which will be posted this weekend. In this episode we talk about Season 4 of Lost, The cardboard cutout ghost of Ted Danson, Shaq-Fu, and Trekkie Fever!

MP3 - Nerd Alert Episode 4



Thanks!

8-Bit Hip Hop

Coming from the ...Shot Then blog 8 Bit Hip Hop Medley.

http://www.shotthen.com/2009/02/04/8-bit-hip-hop-medley/#more-1106

About 4 minutes long...

Jay-Z — Dirt Off Your Shoulders
T.I — What You Know
Chamillionaire — Ridin'
Ludacris — What's Ya Fantasy
Bonecrusher — Neva Scared
Kanye — Overnight Celebrity
Ludacris — Move Bitch
Lil' Jon — Get Low
Kanye — Gold Digger

Woah! We're back? Guess so. Anyone been geeking out over the new Star Trek trailer? Yeah, me to!

Almost as much as the the new Star Wars trailer!

And don't worry. The place won't look this bad for long.

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith : The Review : The Blog Post

It starts out kinda good. It's a recreation of the scene from Return of the Jedi, but instead of taking the high road, he scissors off Dracula's head.

Then Anakin and Padme are reunited and their inane conversations can begin. It's as if these two have an invented twin language that they use to talk to each other. Their dialogue is forced, and infantile. Here is an actual snippet.

Anakin: You are so...beautiful.
Padme: It's only because I'm so in love.
Anakin: No. No, it's because I'm so in love with you.
Padme: Then love has blinded you?

I speak English. I even know all those words. But I have NO idea what this means at all. No clue. Not even close.

If you watch very closely you can see almost pinpoint the moment when Samuel Jackson has completely given up in this movie. I don't want to spoil it for you.

Obi-wan rides this animal, it's kind of a reptile thing. It's dumb. It looks dumb, and it sounds dumb. I pity the child who received this toy for a Christmas present.

Then Obi-wan fights grievous. Hey, does anybody still have Darth Maul's number? That guy was a blast to watch, can we get him back? No? Oh fuck it, let's just give a bunch of lightsabres to a six armed robot. At least somebody will have a good Christmas this year.

Then some more stuff happens, but I'm too preoccupied trying to decide if James Franco or Hayden Christensen is a more terrible actor. In the end I have to say Franco, only because I'm not sure if it's Christensen's fault. Garbage in, garbage out. Any movie which can make Ewan McGregor and Natalie Portman sound like hacks shouldn't be used to judge an actor. And I've never gone out of my way to see another Hayden Christensen movie, so Franco it is. Congratulations James Franco.

Obi-wan gets blasted off of his stupid dragon thing into a pool of water. I'm hoping that thing can't swim. And yes, I understand the Jedi were caught off guard, but it's hard to believe that they could punked so hard.

Then Jimmy Smits shows up and says his 3 lines. Good job Jimmy.

The wookiees kind of send off Yoda like he was E.T. that's funny.

Cool, the Rebel Blockde Runner. That might be the coolest thing in this movie. Jimmy Smits has at least 3 more lines in this scene, I've underestimated him it seems. Scratch that, it was two lines.

I think Anakin sums up his role in this trilogy with "From my point of view it's the Jedi who are evil!". I can't believe this is the guy who turned into Darth Vader.

Obi-wan takes care of him. He calls it out like Babe Ruth.

Then they actually put the armor on him, and he has this incredibly pathetic moment where he's yelling about Natalie Portman and looking completely neutered. Thanks for infecting my original trilogy Darth Vader, George Lucas.

I feel dumber for having seen these movies.